Tuesday, November 17, 2009


so i have an uber sore throat on one side :(
Ive been taking meds all day and doesnt really help
my tooth hurts too and just above it on the gums i have a wierd circle bump
and if i touch it my tooth on the inside hurts a lot
I hope my tooth doesnt fall out
that would suck


oops caps lock was on... but im too lazy to fix it


Sunday, November 15, 2009


So thats what the inside of my head feels like

IM just freaking out, being super super broke and low on exciting fun foods (spaghetti is only cool liek once a week...:P) and knowing we are going to be doign a lot better at the end of the month...
its stressful
not to mention being uber depressed --- friday was a bad day, it seems the days are getting worse then if i try hard i can have an awesome day... but then the next day is HORRIBLE

also stressful --- sobriety!


maybe getting my lip pierced again on the opposite side-- and by maybe i mean I am
also getting this as a tattoo next month on my left inside forearm
(click for larger better view)

im excited,
I would explain, but im lazy... lol

and my blogging has now gotten boring for me, im off more later

Sunday, November 8, 2009

So I had another stress attack today, but not like my normal 5 mins ones, this time it lasted like half an hour,no idea what caused it. well maybe?

I think i just snapped today so many things sucked, and i think the piling up just drove me nuts

`last night got stoned and as i wet to sleep (when i hit the pillow i was pretty much out) i kept seeing new and already known mnii movie clips of my mom, so i was weakend by this when i woke up.
`Dez was in a bad mood cuz he had to get up with me so I could drop him off at Randy's to finish yard work (which we knew woudl take till 3 (which it did)
`got to work to find out almost the whole hotel checked out so i had 15 check outs... and the rooms were all double beds (2 doubles to a room) and every ed was used, yay time consuming, and they all had crumbs everywhere, and coffee...:( and beers and messes..
--- one plus side, cuz it took me so long to do the rooms all day my last room was taken off my list at the end of the day (IT SUCKED! super party drunk gross dirty food on floor room!) - so i was hoping to lose it if i saved it till last :P
`just got paid, already pretty much broke after getting some needed stuff
`just work in general
`having like no food at home
`my stupid broken glasses that slide of my face all the time, much less when i have to look down for work, reading, anything... ><

i dunno, i think thats all i could handle today
oh right haha
at work as i was cleaning a glass it fell and my reflex tried to grab it and i ended up slicing both my palms, so now i have uber large bandaids on and im in pain

today was stupid

i did get $4 in tips today (shitty kinda) but it at least got me 2 pops :)

also i might get tomorrow morning off, but not sure we will see f i get a call in the morning

so there was some maybe good news today

ugh i hate my hair
i need something to change, hair, tattoo, piercing, hairdye, hairstyle, arg

i dunno

you kno i really wish i had more people who read my blog, lol
its wierd to want ppl to read my thoughts but at the same time, i enjoy peoples comments on my thoughts and ideas and other stuff

I just want more friends, i miss having a group
i dont know where to start, or how, always broke (hopefully wil change now...minus wedding saving :( )
i would really like to be able to have people call me up and hang out, i would feel so much more wanted than me always calling ppl tryign to set things up

which doesnt work most the time anyways
im excited that im startign to go to TUG more often now, maybe i can find/reconnect with some people there


Friday, November 6, 2009

well that was stupid

So I was a day ahead of myself yesterday, I thought the 5th was the 6th
My moms birthday woudl have been today, Nov 6...
so because I suck
im moody for 2 days and all that crap

Not alot going on, waiting for my gossip girl to finish downloading(i missed it this week)

So ive been wanting to try something lately, and i want to try before the weddnig cuz well i want to

I want thin eyebrows (not thin vs thick but like a thinner line) And the last time i had that was when i shaved off my eyebrows, and i loved how it looked (<3 dez hates it and im scared to do it cuz most ppl think they are dumb) either way
I want to try the actual real eyebrows super thin, cuz i have always admired that goth loko and to do it before the wedding as a test
but im scared if they look bad

lol but im usually locked in my house anyways so i may get away with it

the wedding has been in my mind lately
I know what i want for my dress (skirt/corset w/e) sorta, not sure what I want the girls in yet

I know i want a skirt similiar to the following:

Yea I truly did fall in love with the black and red one (the room with the mirrors also #'s 1 5 and 6) and black and hot pink
and turns out those dresses are easy to make
I love the poofyness and the coolness and they will rock with boots

again no idea for the girls..... black and hot pink for them too, i might stick them in corsets and skirts too
we shall see, i need to visit gothical for ideas

work still sucks
because dez's shift changed he doesnt work till 3 (used to work at 2) so I told my work I can work till 1 instead of 12, so now I get 10 rooms a day instead of 8

oh well , hopefully will help me look better

oh I found a quote I want tattooed
"It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"

I enjoy this quote because it can be applied to so many things, liek me being a party kid without a baby :P sometimes i need a reminder when im upset that i got pregnant... or with tysene, i am so thankful i was in his life, however short, we may not have ended well but im glad I knew him and then lost him, same with my mom

When i actually stop and think about that quote i actually feel a sensation of calmness (or something) and i can relax... but sometimes i dont think of it, hence the tattoo, i see it and it pops in my head and calms me.. ( i have a bad memory i forget all the time little simple things)

so yea Im thinking i will get aaron to do the quote cuz you cant screw up on words eh?

soon enough

so my head hurts, i went over to dom little table cuz he is drawing/scribbling, and i did it AGAIN!.... I whacked my head on the staircase(basement) and really hard... ive hit it 4 times... and i have bumps and bruises to prove it..

so now I need head drugs

upstairs I go

PS the 4th skirt picture comes out shitty, and i wasnt a super big fan anyways but to delete it means i have to change my wording in the post, so im leaving it at this..