You know Ive never needed a crutch before, Ive never felt the "i ahve to have" somthing crutch.. yea pot, but that was different, pot used to be the kind of crutch cuz it was fun
but ive hit rock bottom, i now feel as though i need anything and not for fun, i just want to escape, and it scares me, i want to drink, get baked outta my mind or anything to just stop thinking, and yet im nto thinking about anything.
I feel liek a zombie
im desperate to do soemthing, and its so hard to keep these feelings down..
and it doesnt help im alone, dez is working an extra hour tonight so he wont be home until 10ish...
i cannot stand it
its never been this bad before...
i just feel done
i dont know
im venting no one has to worry about me =)
im going to go lay down
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